Integrity News

I’d like to make a couple of observations.

First, the saying goes that wisdom comes with age. There’s a grain of truth to that, but I don’t think wisdom comes with age necessarily. I’ve met a lot of people older than myself who have been lacking in wisdom. All those accumulated years don’t seem to have done them any good. And I’ve met people younger than me who are a lot wiser than I am.

But what the heck is wisdom anyway? To me, wisdom is applied intelligence - two words, two parts to the definition, two requirements in order to be wise. So first the person needs to be intelligent and then they have to learn how to apply that intelligence.

When it comes to intelligence, I think either you’ve got it or you don’t. Age and experience aren’t going to change that.

The other part of my definition - applied - is where age often comes in handy. When someone has the brains, they have the potential to be wise, but they need to practice and that’s why older folks are often wiser than younger folks - they’ve had many more years to practice. If you want to hit home runs, you better be prepared to spend a lot of time in the batting cage.

But there are also some people who may be old, but they’ve been sitting in the bleachers all those years - they’ve experienced very little, while some younger people may have experienced a lot in their brief lives. So in the end it’s the quality and the quantity that counts.

A lot of people think that a wise person doesn’t get taken advantage of and they may equate cynicism with wisdom. They think it’s cool to always question everything and everyone and to never believe what someone else says. That’s not bad advice, but all things in moderation. This leads me to my second observation about honesty.

Having talked to a lot of people about my experiences as a gay man in the US Army, especially those who do not tolerate nor accept homosexuality, I’ve tried to learn from the people I talk to. I frequently mention that I don’t believe sexual orientation is something you choose - I didn’t choose to be gay and I spent a lot of time in prayer and study trying not be gay. When someone refuses to take me at my word about my experiences, they are questioning my integrity - more specifically they are implying that I am dishonest or lying.

It’s fine to question the origin and causes of sexual orientation, but we can never have any dialogue if you simply refuse to believe me or question my honesty. Any communication between two or more people requires a certain amount of trust and if you cannot trust me to tell the truth and be completely honest with you, then having a conversation is pointless.