Integrity News

After my last post, I thought I should write something more positive. Ya know, trying to keep things upbeat. So I thought I would share some things I have learned about the Roman Catholic Church regarding homosexuality.

I was raised an American Baptist. That’s not Southern Baptist. American Baptists are mostly found in the Northeast, West Coast and some parts of the Midwest. Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. was an American Baptist. We’re a pretty independent-minded bunch and there’s even a gay-affirming American Baptist organization: the Welcoming & Affirming Baptists.

Even though I was raised in the ABC, many, many members of my family are Roman Catholic. Devout Roman Catholics. My father and his siblings all attended parochial schools and the Church has a great deal of influence in my hometown of Clarksburg, West Virginia, where 25% of the population is of Italian descent plus numerous others of French, Belgian, Spanish, and Polish ancestry - all predominantly Catholic. Even my Baptist mother is descended from Catholic ancestors who were among the earliest settlers in Maryland. During basic training I had a bad experience with the nondenominational Protestant services, so I went with friends to Catholic mass most Sundays. Even without being baptized in the Church, it is a part of my roots and I felt at home. So you can see, the Church has had a notable influence on me.

I contacted John, the Average Gay Joe, who describes himself as “unabashedly Catholic” to learn a little more about the Church’s official position on homosexuality. He sent me a selection of the Catechism, part of which I’d like to share with you:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

“Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” Quite a bit of food for thought there…

After corresponding with John, I got online and started reading through the website of Dignity USA, an organization for LGBT Catholics. There I learned about a pastoral letter produced by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops that provides more detail about how to address homosexuality. The letter is entitled “Always Our Children: A Pastoral Message to Parents of Homosexual Children and Suggestions for Pastoral Ministers.” I have posted several selections, with some commentary, below:

Perhaps you had sensed for some time that your son or daughter was different in some way. Now he or she has come to you and entrusted something very significant. It may be that other siblings learned of this before you and were reluctant to tell you. Regardless, though, a burden has been lifted. Acknowledge the possibility that your child has told you this not to hurt you or create distance, but out of love and trust and with a desire for honesty, intimacy, and closer communication.

Hhmm. Perhaps this is also the motivation that a gay soldier feels when he tells one of his battle buddies that he is gay. Let me repeat, he has “told you this not to hurt you or create distance, but out of love and trust and with a desire for honesty, intimacy and closer communication.” Sounds a heck of a lot like what you need to build a cohesive unit.

don’t break off contact; don’t reject your child. A shocking number of homosexual youth end up on the streets because of rejection by their families. This, and other external pressures, can place young people at a greater risk for self-destructive behaviors like substance abuse and suicide.

Let’s see. Rejecting a child is similar to discharging a soldier from the military. What happens if the soldier lacks much work experience and education? And if he was an infantryman or artilleryman - try explaining those skills to the person in human resources. And if he loses his GI Bill benefits? If he can find a job, he’s lucky. But not all of them do. Even with my college education, a lot of people didn’t want to hire a former soldier. After all, we are a bunch of mean brutes! (So much for open-minded liberals.) So he may end up on unemployment or underemployed in a dead-end job. Which could lead to a lot of stress and the former soldier could turn to alcohol or drugs to relieve that stress.

Your child may need you and the family now more than ever. He or she is still the same person. This child, who has always been God’s gift to you, may now be the cause of another gift: your family becoming more honest, respectful, and supportive. Yes, your love can be tested by this reality, but it can also grow stronger through your struggle to respond lovingly.

“Still the same person”? Get outta here. Who woulda thought? Of course, we’re still the same person! And we’re still the same soldier. “Becoming more honest, respectful and supportive” - great ways to make the team more cohesive.

it seems appropriate to understand sexual orientation (heterosexual or homosexual) as a deep-seated dimension of one’s personality and to recognize its relative stability in a person. A homosexual orientation produces a stronger emotional and sexual attraction toward individuals of the same sex, rather than toward those of the opposite sex. It does not totally rule out interest in, care for, and attraction toward members of the opposite sex. Having a homosexual orientation does not necessarily mean a person will engage in homosexual activity.

“A deep-seated dimension of one’s personality” and “relative stability” - it seems the Church understands that homosexuality is not something we choose and that it’s not something we can “recruit” others into. The crazy rhetoric we hear from the talking heads doesn’t seem to be consistent with what the Church teaches. It also means, in terms of DADT, that it is unlikely one gay soldier in the squad is going to try to turn all the other soldiers gay.

Generally, homosexual orientation is experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen. By itself, therefore, a homosexual orientation cannot be considered sinful, for morality presumes the freedom to choose.

Amen. No further comment necessary.

All in all, it is essential to recall one basic truth. God loves every person as a unique individual. Sexual identity helps to define the unique persons we are, and one component of our sexual identity is sexual orientation. Thus, our total personhood is more encompassing than sexual orientation. Human beings see the appearance, but the Lord looks into the heart (cf. 1 Sm 16:7).

Individuality!?!? That’s truly excellent on the part of the Bishops who wrote this. “God loves every person as a unique individual” and in my America, every person should be treated with respect as a unique individual. Some law that lumps everyone together in some group disrespects the individual, even when good intentions were at the heart of creating the group.

“More encompassing than sexual orientation” - that describes the message I want to get out through this blog. Gay or straight doesn’t matter on a lot of issues. We all want America to be prosperous and victorious.

“The Lord looks into the heart.” Thank God my salvation depends on that and not what others think of me.

Respect for the God-given dignity of all persons means the recognition of human rights and responsibilities. The teachings of the Church make it clear that the fundamental human rights of homosexual persons must be defended and that all of us must strive to eliminate any forms of injustice, oppression, or violence against them (cf. The Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons, 1986, no. 10).

Do I really need to add to that?

There’s really very little hate in my relationship with the Roman Catholic Church. I don’t agree with all the teachings, but for those Catholics who disagree with me, they are often sincere and not malicious in their disagreement with me. It’s a shame that many others don’t follow their example.