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Wisdom & Honesty

I’d like to make a couple of observations.

First, the saying goes that wisdom comes with age. There’s a grain of truth to that, but I don’t think wisdom comes with age necessarily. I’ve met a lot of people older than myself who have been lacking in wisdom. All those accumulated years don’t seem to have done them any good. And I’ve met people younger than me who are a lot wiser than I am.

But what the heck is wisdom anyway? To me, wisdom is applied intelligence - two words, two parts to the definition, two requirements in order to be wise. So first the person needs to be intelligent and then they have to learn how to apply that intelligence.

When it comes to intelligence, I think either you’ve got it or you don’t. Age and experience aren’t going to change that.

The other part of my definition - applied - is where age often comes in handy. When someone has the brains, they have the potential to be wise, but they need to practice and that’s why older folks are often wiser than younger folks - they’ve had many more years to practice. If you want to hit home runs, you better be prepared to spend a lot of time in the batting cage.

But there are also some people who may be old, but they’ve been sitting in the bleachers all those years - they’ve experienced very little, while some younger people may have experienced a lot in their brief lives. So in the end it’s the quality and the quantity that counts.

A lot of people think that a wise person doesn’t get taken advantage of and they may equate cynicism with wisdom. They think it’s cool to always question everything and everyone and to never believe what someone else says. That’s not bad advice, but all things in moderation. This leads me to my second observation about honesty.

Having talked to a lot of people about my experiences as a gay man in the US Army, especially those who do not tolerate nor accept homosexuality, I’ve tried to learn from the people I talk to. I frequently mention that I don’t believe sexual orientation is something you choose - I didn’t choose to be gay and I spent a lot of time in prayer and study trying not be gay. When someone refuses to take me at my word about my experiences, they are questioning my integrity - more specifically they are implying that I am dishonest or lying.

It’s fine to question the origin and causes of sexual orientation, but we can never have any dialogue if you simply refuse to believe me or question my honesty. Any communication between two or more people requires a certain amount of trust and if you cannot trust me to tell the truth and be completely honest with you, then having a conversation is pointless.

Posted 27 August 2008 † Pepe § Integrity § Gay Theory § Website ‡ Comments (0)

A Smart Democrat or Two

I’m a Libertarian - yes, a card-carrying member of the Libertarian Party. I’ve donated money to the Texas Libertarian Party, the national Libertarian Party and the LP’s Presidential Candidate Bob Barr. But, I have also said numerous times that I am willing to vote for a Democrat or a Republican just as much as a Libertarian. Well, I’ve found a Democrat worthy of my vote, but unfortunately he is running for Congress in Colorado.

Polis Criticizes Congress’ Handling of Gay Issues

He added that he was surprised Congress has not repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which prevents openly gay people from serving in the military. He said a “vast majority of the population supports” repealing the law.

Holy cow, Batman! Passing “gay” legislation that the “vast majority of the population supports” is practically revolutionary. And get this, Polis also has some cojones:

“I really can’t figure out why the Democratic Congress hasn’t passed a bill to do that, even if Bush was to veto it,” Polis said.

Get this, if Congress passes the Military Readiness Enhancement Act, and Bush vetoes it, then the fault is on George W. Bush’s doorstep. But as long as the Democratic Congress sits on MREA, well, it’s still the Democrats’ mistake - remember, it originated in and was passed by a Democratice Congress and signed by a Democratic President in 1993. (Why do so many gay people continue to vote for the Democrats?!?!?!?!)

While Polis maintained that those issues are “all critical,” he said, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and ENDA will probably be addressed before marriage, which he said “is still a little bit more controversial.”

Please, all of you gay activists out there, this many won his Democratic primary - he’s smart. Don’t ask, Don’t tell is an easier issue than marriage. Tackle DADT first, then marriage later. It’s not hard. First step: listening to people like Mr. Polis.

Continuing to read the article, I found that Mr. Polis is not the only intelligent gay Democrat out there. Yes, there is hope!

Chris Pappas, a gay delegate from New Hampshire and owner of the Puritan Backroom restaurant, said he thinks “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will be the first issue tackled in the new Congress. He said he expects that if Barack Obama is elected that he would work to repeal the policy within his first 100 days in
office.

Pappas said that Congress is “taking a hands-off approach” to marriages and civil unions, but at some point there needs to be “some sort of national recognition on that issue.”

Of course, Mr. Pappas is from “Live Free or Die” New Hampshire and the people of New Hampshire are some of the best in America. (Full disclosure: my maternal grandmother’s family is one of the oldest families in New Hampshire, arriving around 1641 or so. Yes, I’m a little biased.) Oh, and there’s more:

Robinson also said eliminating “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is “something that should be able to be done quickly without too much rancor” in the next administration.

Now, I wish the leaders of such fancy organizations as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) would read this. They need to get the message. I’ve stopped donating any money to them because of their head-in-the-sand approach to ….. well, to everything. They should listen to these Democratic politicians and delegates.

Posted 26 August 2008 † Pepe § Don't ask, Don't tell § Gay Theory § Democrats § Politicians & Political Parties ‡ Comments (0)

Dallas Veterans Day Parade

Good news! I applied to have a display booth during the Greater Dallas Veterans Day Parade and was approved. This will be the second year I have had a display during this event.

In the application I was very honest about the nature of the the booth - it’s about gay veterans. And the planning committee that is made up of veterans of all ages has approved us twice. That means a lot.

Last year, we only had one negative visitor and even she wasn’t actually confrontational. A middle-aged lady, she walked under the canopy and asked what our display was about. One of the volunteers responded that it was honoring all veterans - especially gay and lesbian veterans. She continued to smile and simply turned and walked away. Numerous other people - including families - stopped by and asked questions and expressed their support. We even had some World War II and Korea vets that were supportive.

This year’s parade is scheduled for Tuesday, 11 November beginning at 10:30 am.

Posted 25 August 2008 † Pepe § Gay Veterans § Combat Veterans § Veterans § Veterans Organizations ‡ Comments (0)

Congratulations from Hallmark

Well, I didn’t know it, but last year the Hallmark Company - yep, the most widely recognized distributor of greeting cards - introduced “coming out” cards that you could give to a friend recently out of the closet. It seems that the company is expanding their inventory to include cards that celebrate same-sex couples, whether they are “married” or joined together in some other fashion.

Now on the Hallmark aisle: Gay marriage cards

The language inside the cards is neutral, with no mention of wedding or marriage, making them also suitable for a commitment ceremony. Hallmark says the move is a response to consumer demand, not any political pressure.

See, that’s one of the reasons I support capitalism so much. Whether or not the legislative bodies of our country recognize our relationships is less important than what our friends and family say - and sometimes they say it with their money. Business executives and managers often react faster than politicians.

But one of my favorite lines in the whole story:

“A lot of people think a gay greeting card needs a rainbow on it,” Fortier said. “I don’t want that.”

Posted 23 August 2008 † Pepe § Website § Family Affairs ‡ Comments (0)

Gay Stereotypes: Weak

I’ve decided to start posting links to pieces that detail various gay stereotypes. This first story comes to us from the Washington Blade about a young gang member killed because others in the gang thought he might be gay and that having a gay gang member would make the look weak. So, stereotype number one is weak.

Baltimore police say gay man killed by own gang
Defendents found ‘gay’ text messages on victim’s phone

Steven Hollis, 18, of Randallstown, and Juan Flythe, 17, of West Baltimore were charged Aug. 14 with first-degree murder following the May death of Steven Parrish, 18, of Randallstown. Authorities said Hollis and Flythe are members of the Bloods gang.

According to charging documents, Hollis and Flythe found text messages on Parrish’s cell phone that led them to believe that Parrish was gay. The documents say that the defendants were concerned that a gay member would make the gang seem weak.

I also want to draw your attention to the statement made by the leader of a local non-gay organization:

Elbridge James, director of the Maryland Black Family Alliance, called Parrish’s death tragic.

“We have to stand together and embrace all of the members of our community,” he said in a statement. “Our thoughts and prayers are with the Parrish family as they continue to deal with the loss of Steven as this story becomes public.”

If only others had as much common sense as Mr. James.

Posted 23 August 2008 † Pepe § Gay Theory § Stereotypes ‡ Comments (0)